when the breath comes more slowly

the heart is no less stout, and the body feels weak. i feel fluttering and degeneration and i doubt i can continue in this path for much longer. as we listen to our bodies, we can sense the general wellness or illness, and more importantly, the general direction, whether it is rolling downward to dusty depths or rising upward to greater heights. we can numb our senses, but this does nothing for us unless we have given up hope, and when this happens, there is sure to be only a short time to the end of a cycle.

the weight of past decisions and delusions of their power in the here and now, i feel creating a hole in my chest, like a poison that seeps slowly into my blood stream. still, the feeling can direct me to act, but what is there to do? perhaps it is well to be still and accept inevitable correction that comes from the rebound of actions already committed.