I spoke with the downtrodden,
And in my haste to satisfy my appetite,
I fed on his hurt.
Then I heard his cry for help,
and my pace lessened.
I offered a word of hope,
So he said.
Can a tree bear fruit both rotten and sweet?
Listen, hurt soul:
Listen for hope,
But be wary of all.
You are not lost forever,
That is the lie.
Look to what transcends,
Listen to what rings true,
And discard the rest as noise,
The rust of corruption
Which makes purity rare.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
The Revelation of Me
The thought occurred to me that the manner in which I treat people, at my worst, is the best indicator of Who I Really Am. I could take comfort in the fact that I treat people, on average, much better than the worst case; however, the worst case is my baseline. Besides, I don't know how much of how I treat people in the average cases is merely showmanship and acting, i.e., learned behavior in which I mimic what I believe is expected.
On the other hand, the raw nature of my personality, in an unguarded moment, is most telling; there are no facades to hide behind, and only what is truly in my inner core speaks; for, "the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." What's really in me, in my heart, comes out, in those moments. They are moments of true instruction, indeed!
There are no small slips of the tongue. Our true character is revealed in the unguarded moments, in the moments of frustration.
I am ashamed!
But what good is shame? None at all, if there is no seeking for a remedy.
How is that there is evil and unkindness in my heart? It was put there by me.
Mud is mud, and the dirt I've accumulated may not *look* like the dirt I let in... but that's the rub. The small indulgences are never alone; they bring their own parasites, and these multiply rapidly in a suitable environment, and that is darkness.
Ownership of my darkness is merely a first prerequisite toward redemption. It is not enough to know, but to do.
"Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God."
But acting kindly when I am comfortable does not prove anything; it is again quite likely I am just doing what I think I "should" do, and I may even take pleasure in my "goodness."
No, I must examine what is really in my heart that comes out in that moment of frustration. Why would I be unkind to someone? It must be that I truly do not respect life; that I am narcissistic and selfish, and that I am bothered when I must truly consider the feelings or welfare of another human being. Until I "pray" (consider deeply and with all my life force seeking what is true about a matter) about what life means, and who I am in this tapestry of life, and who are the others that are brought into my "world" for a moment, then I am unable to have the right attitude, and thus the proper humility in a moment of frustration.
On the other hand, the raw nature of my personality, in an unguarded moment, is most telling; there are no facades to hide behind, and only what is truly in my inner core speaks; for, "the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." What's really in me, in my heart, comes out, in those moments. They are moments of true instruction, indeed!
There are no small slips of the tongue. Our true character is revealed in the unguarded moments, in the moments of frustration.
I am ashamed!
But what good is shame? None at all, if there is no seeking for a remedy.
How is that there is evil and unkindness in my heart? It was put there by me.
Mud is mud, and the dirt I've accumulated may not *look* like the dirt I let in... but that's the rub. The small indulgences are never alone; they bring their own parasites, and these multiply rapidly in a suitable environment, and that is darkness.
Ownership of my darkness is merely a first prerequisite toward redemption. It is not enough to know, but to do.
"Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God."
But acting kindly when I am comfortable does not prove anything; it is again quite likely I am just doing what I think I "should" do, and I may even take pleasure in my "goodness."
No, I must examine what is really in my heart that comes out in that moment of frustration. Why would I be unkind to someone? It must be that I truly do not respect life; that I am narcissistic and selfish, and that I am bothered when I must truly consider the feelings or welfare of another human being. Until I "pray" (consider deeply and with all my life force seeking what is true about a matter) about what life means, and who I am in this tapestry of life, and who are the others that are brought into my "world" for a moment, then I am unable to have the right attitude, and thus the proper humility in a moment of frustration.
Mid Night
There are none who know me.
Only glimpses they see.
Nothing about me is complete
The clock ticks
The redeemer more distant
This instance closes.
Only glimpses they see.
Nothing about me is complete
The clock ticks
The redeemer more distant
This instance closes.
|
Friday, June 1, 2007
Just a little respect
While sitting in my car in the parking lot at Fiesta's waiting for Jimmy (one of my friends and roommates) to come back from a short grocery run, I was musing on how nice it was to just sit there and relax, feel the breeze, and listen to music and sing (badly). It was... refreshing. I people-watched, and let my mind rest a bit.
Then the thought hit me: ugh... if I were a celebrity, I couldn't enjoy this... I'd be mobbed by a bunch of idiots harassing me and asking me for autograph and acting like total nuisances.
Um, yeah, well no chance of that obviously, as I'm a "nobody" and don't have to endure such crap. :) But... that is a good thing. And then the thought formed... why do people act like total jerks and treat celebrities like this? It's like their brains turn off, and they think just because they listen to their music or watch their movies that they know them, and they're thus entitled to just barge in on their personal space anytime they please. Ugh. It's embarrassing, really! Celebrities are people too, and due the same respect (not more, not less) and courtesy we give other human beings. It is one thing to acknowledge that they may be highly gifted singers, actresses, athletes, etc., but these gifts do not mean they have lost their basic humanity. We all like quiet time to ourselves, or even quiet time in public, perhaps being out and enjoying the presence of other people or nice restaurants, etc. -- and we all like being able to do that without being harassed or bothered by rude people.
Then the thought hit me: ugh... if I were a celebrity, I couldn't enjoy this... I'd be mobbed by a bunch of idiots harassing me and asking me for autograph and acting like total nuisances.
Um, yeah, well no chance of that obviously, as I'm a "nobody" and don't have to endure such crap. :) But... that is a good thing. And then the thought formed... why do people act like total jerks and treat celebrities like this? It's like their brains turn off, and they think just because they listen to their music or watch their movies that they know them, and they're thus entitled to just barge in on their personal space anytime they please. Ugh. It's embarrassing, really! Celebrities are people too, and due the same respect (not more, not less) and courtesy we give other human beings. It is one thing to acknowledge that they may be highly gifted singers, actresses, athletes, etc., but these gifts do not mean they have lost their basic humanity. We all like quiet time to ourselves, or even quiet time in public, perhaps being out and enjoying the presence of other people or nice restaurants, etc. -- and we all like being able to do that without being harassed or bothered by rude people.
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