I was deflated and confused again after reading an article about the sacred names of God, in which the author is addressing the relatively modern conception that the transliterated name "Jesus" is a fraud and that we should call the son of God, "Yahshua" or some such because, further, the name Jehovah is incorrect and should instead be "Yahweh", and thus YAHshua is the appropriate name since the Son of God should have YAHweh in his name to be identified with the Father. Even worse, some folks say, to call him "Lord God" could be actually calling on a false god, perhaps even Satan. Got it? Whew!
I was deflated and confused because I had sort of acclimated myself to the "Yahweh" name myself, thinking the modern scholastics seemed to be behind it, and besides, it sounds soft and lovely.
However, the author I was reading who punched holes in the Yahweh / Yahshua crowd seemed to have pretty good standing with his logic and references... which just utterly confounded me because I thought, "gosh, so here I go again.. maybe I've been wrong again about some critical matter... just when I had escaped the terrible consequences that the Yahweh / Yahshua people warned about.
And then it struck me.
Red herring. I am getting worked up over some little detail that has nothing to do with my life and what and who I am. "Ah, but the stinkin' DEVIL is in the details", I heard. To which I say, "yes, indeed."
I have no doubt that there is a correct view here. One of these camps is wrong, and one is right. Or perhaps a better way to say it, one of these camps is closer to the truth than the other. That might be a better way to put it.
But the FRUIT that I saw coming from the discussion between the camps seems to be largely, what, let's see: further division and dissension, strife, judgement and... well, FEAR. FEAR that "if you get this wrong, boy, you might have hell to pay. Fear.
So, I took a deep breath -- well, actually, I took a nice long bath -- and I closed a book I was reading on the Kabbalah which was just not holding my attention ("what I have to say to you is much more important than what you're reading") and I mused, and I tried to listen to the voice of truth.
I say tried, because probably the biggest thing I heard was this: what is this all accomplishing? Is this something I can figure out, and then I proclaim that I have fixed it, and the world will agree with me? Ha! Yeah, exactly. And then I heard this: one of my recurring obstacles, my sins, is focusing on all the wrong things. It is the way of the world to squabble over religion, and to declare doctrines, and to find and fix all the flaws in everyone else's doctrines -- in everyone else'sopinions about everything, in fact.
Who am I? I am not the Corrector of the World's Religions. So why do I waste my time reading these things and worrying about them? This would be a useful exercise if it is my job, and my mission, and my destiny to do this -- well, actually, come to think of it -- it would be the least useful exercise even if I were that. But I am not that. I am a little man, of little stature, who struggles with everyday choices, and fails often.
I cannot judge these matters. I am not equipped. I am to be silent on them presently. My focus is on the realm that I am in, and to do what I know to do, and that is it. I know I am desire to love, and to accept the love of others, and I believe this is what God wants me to be. For it is the little foxes that spoil the vine -- but it is the foxes that are in my yard, that I am feeding, not the creeds that I declare or withstand. It is in my being, and in the creation of my being that is my doing.
I believe in a God who is loving, because that is what I have experienced from God. I don't know about a jealous God or a wrathful, because I have not experienced his jealousy or wrath. I cannot comment on the experiences of others for which I know nothing about.
I believe in a patient God, because God knows he has been patient with me.
The other thing I heard was "be yourself." That sounds trite, I know, and I've heard it a bajilion times. As if I could be someone other than myself. Well, obviously, I can't, but when I'm not honest about who I am to myself and to others, I am not living in the truth of Who I Am, and that creates disturbances and distortions in my life that manifest as problems that hurt me and those around me. Because it is impossible to be someone I am not, when I try to pretend, I necessarily bring about -- I create -- a distortion that will manifest to myself and to everyone else what I really am. The sad thing is, when it manifests in this manner, it cannot help but drag me down, because there is nothing I can do against truth, and I hurt no one ultimately except myself in the long run.
That it is not to say that "being myself", flaws and all, is to glorify all my faults because "they are me". Because I still believe there are things that lift up, and things that drag down, but of course, I don't like the things I see that drag me down, so I wish to conceal them, out of shame. But if I trust in the goodness of God, if I have faith in his mercy, I confess my sins. Here I am, and I am not the perfection I strive for.
But God seeks not perfection in me so much as honesty. Perfection is a goal that can only be sought with a pure heart, and what is a pure heart? Is it one attached to a being with no shortcomings? No, but it is one that accepts what IS, because truth is what IS.
And I can laugh deeply from true joy when I am open and honest, because it is not my doing that will perfect me, but I am to just be who I am and walk honestly and with love and let the Infinite direct my steps.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The Importance of Trivial Pursuits
God, I hope I don't have to be serious about this.
Is laughter an indulgence?
Is laughter an indulgence?
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Want Away! Need Not.
Admit it, you want it. Don't try to cover it up like you don't; you only deceive yourself, and that's like those pathetic sewn leaves / bad cover-up job. What, are you ashamed? Go on ahead, and feel ashamed, then; maybe it is shame-worthy. Wear it, but don't invite it to stay; it will fade to nothingness when you are honest about it.
Openness breaks the downward pulling power of secrets. So if it is wrong, but you want it, do not lie to everyone about what you want. Speak freely, act accordingly, and be who you are. There will be an opportunity to give it up, if you feel ashamed about it: the way to do this is to not need it; do not require what you want.
In fact, even if it shames you not, and you feel it is right, want it openly, but don't require it: if you require it, you are a force of compulsion, and that makes it ugly; beauty grows on love, not strong force. We ourselves were not created out of need, but out of desire lacking need.
Need nothing; trust in the ultimate reality that you are provided everything you need; indeed, when you don't require it, all your *desires* are honored, either by fulfillment in physical reality, or by their banishment from your own soul because you experienced it in your mind and found it not worthy of creation.
Just don't quash that thought, don't extinguish it with force, but admit that it seeks a "trial run".
If you are always honest, and you are always willing to live without it in physical reality, you honor life.
Greed and lust are not mere wanting, but Obsessive Wanting Turned-To Needing. These will eat you and consume the world.
Wanting is a declaration of What Is True In Your World, and it is never wrong -- it is what makes you alive!
Needing anything other than what you have already been given is unbelief in the goodness of God to give you life and beauty as God does the lilies in the field, and it is idolatry because you seek not first the kingdom, but you seek your own desire and will, and so it is iniquity, too.
And the irony is that needing is totally unnecessary (!) because you are given more than you want when you are willing to give up on getting what you want, when you seek harmony and not your desires. God loves to please us, and shower us with blessings, and does even when we don't deserve it (especially when we don't!) except we can't see it or experience it when we are blinded but desire, when we have worshiped our wants. It is not punishment that we are choked off from experiencing our blessing; it is simply consequence, and when there is life, there is always a way up out of it, anyway.
So want away! Do not lie to yourself about what you want. If you feel guilty about what you want, then feel guilty, but there is nothing to do about it but admit both, and then accept what is true in your heart. If it something you want to be cleansed, how do you know the cleansing will not come from experiencing it in your head, and seeing its folly? God does not condemn the honest ("have mercy on me a sinner!"), but the self-deceiving condemn themselves.
Openness breaks the downward pulling power of secrets. So if it is wrong, but you want it, do not lie to everyone about what you want. Speak freely, act accordingly, and be who you are. There will be an opportunity to give it up, if you feel ashamed about it: the way to do this is to not need it; do not require what you want.
In fact, even if it shames you not, and you feel it is right, want it openly, but don't require it: if you require it, you are a force of compulsion, and that makes it ugly; beauty grows on love, not strong force. We ourselves were not created out of need, but out of desire lacking need.
Need nothing; trust in the ultimate reality that you are provided everything you need; indeed, when you don't require it, all your *desires* are honored, either by fulfillment in physical reality, or by their banishment from your own soul because you experienced it in your mind and found it not worthy of creation.
Just don't quash that thought, don't extinguish it with force, but admit that it seeks a "trial run".
If you are always honest, and you are always willing to live without it in physical reality, you honor life.
Greed and lust are not mere wanting, but Obsessive Wanting Turned-To Needing. These will eat you and consume the world.
Wanting is a declaration of What Is True In Your World, and it is never wrong -- it is what makes you alive!
Needing anything other than what you have already been given is unbelief in the goodness of God to give you life and beauty as God does the lilies in the field, and it is idolatry because you seek not first the kingdom, but you seek your own desire and will, and so it is iniquity, too.
And the irony is that needing is totally unnecessary (!) because you are given more than you want when you are willing to give up on getting what you want, when you seek harmony and not your desires. God loves to please us, and shower us with blessings, and does even when we don't deserve it (especially when we don't!) except we can't see it or experience it when we are blinded but desire, when we have worshiped our wants. It is not punishment that we are choked off from experiencing our blessing; it is simply consequence, and when there is life, there is always a way up out of it, anyway.
So want away! Do not lie to yourself about what you want. If you feel guilty about what you want, then feel guilty, but there is nothing to do about it but admit both, and then accept what is true in your heart. If it something you want to be cleansed, how do you know the cleansing will not come from experiencing it in your head, and seeing its folly? God does not condemn the honest ("have mercy on me a sinner!"), but the self-deceiving condemn themselves.
Monday, January 1, 2007
I Want A New ____
Covetousness is often the door we open, that leads to suffering, especially the suffering of others. God gives abundantly, but true abundance is swallowed by the presence of covetousness; the more we desire intently anything other than the all for all, the more scarcity we create.
Abundance is to be accepted, not taken by force. And no one takes by force if he trusts that his needs and his desires will be met; that is faith. There's a time for abundance, and there's a time for scarcity, and as the faithful seeks the well being of all, he rejoices in the scarcity willingly as he knows it is necessary as long as there is ill-conceived gain. It is not that there is not enough for abundance, it is that we create a distortion in the physical realm when in our spirit we worship anything other than God. To experience consuming desire, I must first believe that I do not have *enough* of the object of my desire; I must thus believe that God is cheating me out of some thing that is rightfully mine; I must also believe that God's allocation in the present is misguided and incorrect, and that this is a situation I can correct in my own power. It is iniquity because I set myself up as God, a lord over my world that is disconnected from others; it is idolatry because I do so because I have accepted a lie that gain I seek is to be treasured more than the perfection that already is.
There is nothing wrong with this moment. Why does it need a reallocation? Why do I think I need more? Why do I desire more? Do I ever have enough?
No, no, lust is never satisified; it is never enough. Thus it is degenerative, because it consumes. It is to desire to heap to one's self more and more of some thing, but it does not realize that it is destructive to self to take more than what is given; it destroys the perfect balance that already is in each moment. It starves one soul and fattens another until it is a horribly distorted shape of greedy excess.
I am scared and frightened when I see violence in the world, when I see starvation of children, rape of the weak ones, and exploitation of peoples. But what do I do? I laugh at my big box of funny people dancing and singing, and I revel in my excesses! They're fun, they're entertaining; my soul is filled with laughter! I cannot help that the children are dying! Am I my brother's keeper?
So there is imbalance. What do I do? If I have two coats, give one to someone who needs a coat; why do I need two coats? Seek God, and be willing to give away anything at any moment. Anything. Everything is conquered by love, and love is the total giving of yourself for all. "Take up your cross and follow me," for loving is to take the burden of another and to bear it up as one's own. To love in this day is to necessarily suffer, not because love is inherently sorrowful, indeed quite the opposite, but because there *already exists* suffering of others in this world, to love is to share in that suffering, to take some of it away from another so that it is not disproportionately borne. It is a corrective reallocation that is necessary because of a prior lust that resulted in the current misallocation.
So there is someone who wantonly takes what he desires from another; now, there is suffering. Then, along comes a lover, who shares the burden of suffering, who brings healing.
Watch for it! In the present moment, there is an opportunity to love; for though we live in a disconnected, broken world, there are infinite opportunities to re-connect it and heal it, in the eternal present. We can smile at someone, compliment someone, listen to someone, care in the little ways. A minor incovenience to our comfort is a small price to pay to love. Is there someone else uncomfortable? Then, we should be still and listen, and know that a God who loves ALL is whispering to anyone who loves all, a way to bring comfort and healing, in that moment.
Abundance is to be accepted, not taken by force. And no one takes by force if he trusts that his needs and his desires will be met; that is faith. There's a time for abundance, and there's a time for scarcity, and as the faithful seeks the well being of all, he rejoices in the scarcity willingly as he knows it is necessary as long as there is ill-conceived gain. It is not that there is not enough for abundance, it is that we create a distortion in the physical realm when in our spirit we worship anything other than God. To experience consuming desire, I must first believe that I do not have *enough* of the object of my desire; I must thus believe that God is cheating me out of some thing that is rightfully mine; I must also believe that God's allocation in the present is misguided and incorrect, and that this is a situation I can correct in my own power. It is iniquity because I set myself up as God, a lord over my world that is disconnected from others; it is idolatry because I do so because I have accepted a lie that gain I seek is to be treasured more than the perfection that already is.
There is nothing wrong with this moment. Why does it need a reallocation? Why do I think I need more? Why do I desire more? Do I ever have enough?
No, no, lust is never satisified; it is never enough. Thus it is degenerative, because it consumes. It is to desire to heap to one's self more and more of some thing, but it does not realize that it is destructive to self to take more than what is given; it destroys the perfect balance that already is in each moment. It starves one soul and fattens another until it is a horribly distorted shape of greedy excess.
I am scared and frightened when I see violence in the world, when I see starvation of children, rape of the weak ones, and exploitation of peoples. But what do I do? I laugh at my big box of funny people dancing and singing, and I revel in my excesses! They're fun, they're entertaining; my soul is filled with laughter! I cannot help that the children are dying! Am I my brother's keeper?
So there is imbalance. What do I do? If I have two coats, give one to someone who needs a coat; why do I need two coats? Seek God, and be willing to give away anything at any moment. Anything. Everything is conquered by love, and love is the total giving of yourself for all. "Take up your cross and follow me," for loving is to take the burden of another and to bear it up as one's own. To love in this day is to necessarily suffer, not because love is inherently sorrowful, indeed quite the opposite, but because there *already exists* suffering of others in this world, to love is to share in that suffering, to take some of it away from another so that it is not disproportionately borne. It is a corrective reallocation that is necessary because of a prior lust that resulted in the current misallocation.
So there is someone who wantonly takes what he desires from another; now, there is suffering. Then, along comes a lover, who shares the burden of suffering, who brings healing.
Watch for it! In the present moment, there is an opportunity to love; for though we live in a disconnected, broken world, there are infinite opportunities to re-connect it and heal it, in the eternal present. We can smile at someone, compliment someone, listen to someone, care in the little ways. A minor incovenience to our comfort is a small price to pay to love. Is there someone else uncomfortable? Then, we should be still and listen, and know that a God who loves ALL is whispering to anyone who loves all, a way to bring comfort and healing, in that moment.
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