What God Has Joined Together...

he following is a chat I had a couple of nights ago. It is completely unedited and unchanged from the original conversation -- which I admit, was mostly a monologue. :) The only thing I did change was the name of my online friend, to protect his privacy. Be warned that this, being unedited and uncensored, is raw. I thought about creating a more polished version of this, but as an experiment I also wanted to show the raw idea as it developed, multiple warts and all.

Me: keith

my_online_friend: whats up

Me: i just figured something out

my_online_friend: what

Me: something when you look carefully, that thing that is sucking so bad is an opportunity

Me: to get it right this time

Me: what i have failed to get right so far

Me: sometime, not something in that first sentence

my_online_friend: oh

my_online_friend: i have no clue

Me: well, think about it

my_online_friend: im mentally challenged.

Me: well i saw this thing blow up.. like losing a friendship really suddenly

Me: when i realized that the reason was that i was only put in place to put two other people together -- and i had done my job! it's like a grand scheme

Me: but what i wanted was not what was important, because what i really want is more than what i want here

Me: so i will almost always never get what i want here, if ever

Me: because i would rather have what i really want

my_online_friend: we have to take what god brings us

Me: indeed! u said it

Me: if we take more, it is theft!

Me: and there is much theft going on in.. most relationships nowadays have started with theft.. thus the divorce rate

Me: "what had god puts together, let no person take apart"... but most of these people were not put together by god!

my_online_friend: exactly

my_online_friend: mostly drawn by hard cock

Me: i've stolen most of my relationships

Me: that's why i have them pulled out from under me

Me: but me being dense and thick-headed, i go hit my head against the wall again

my_online_friend: we all go there

Me: the only one given to me was my first, jonathan

Me: the others i have stolen

Me: without realizing it at the time

Me: and even that one was stolen now that i think of it -- dang it

Me: i crapped on all of them

Me: ugh smoking pot reminds of me what i have tried to forget

Me: this was never given to me, but i liked the candy

Me: and so i made the deal

Me: and then i was hooked

Me: marriage is a crock nowadays... even only 1% of marriages that last were put together by god

Me: they are supposed to come out of nowhere, with no planning -- relationships

Me: then we'd KNOW it was god

Me: see?

Me: "what god has put together..."

my_online_friend: yeap i agrreee

Me: EVERYONE can see it.... when god puts two people together... because it awe-some -- in the real definition of that word -- it invokes awe

Me: u can see when two people u never thought.. then.. what the... whoa... like... they are made for each other. like, really

Me: what did the bible mean when it said, "what god put together, let no man take apart"? He wasn't speaking of a divorce degree

my_online_friend: exactly

Me: he was speaking of someone with a lustful trying to seduce the a member of Union put Together by God

Me: lustful eye and heart

Me: The seduced commits adultery, but the seducer commits theft

Me: He is the devourer, he tears apart a Union Put By God

Me: But .. make no mistake... that is why we cannot judge as men, as Jesus told us.

Me: Just because two people have a marriage decree legally does not mean God put them together.

Me: In that case, they should pray and annul their marriage. It was never real.

my_online_friend: exactly

Me: And release each other to the one God really made for them.

Me: So there really is no such thing as "divorce". There is only "marriage" (union of two souls, unionized by God), and this continues or else there is "death do us part" or the Seducer/Thief lusts and seduces the adulterer.

Me: The modern church makes a mockery of this.

my_online_friend: exactly

Me: This misplaced focus on gay marriage by the religious establishment is externalized, projected fear about their own real failure -- in sanctioning sham marriages and then having to produce divorces admitting failure.

Me: Because the churches HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO PERFORM MARRIAGE. It is the SOLE ACT of GOD.

Me: But again, humans, wanting to do the "work of God", do not even understand the meanings of those words, btu instead think they should do "the work FOR God"

Me: They don't want to "recognize" (what does that mean? think about it.. it means to OBSERVE and SEE whether "this is what God has put together")

Me: They don't want to recognize same-sex marriage... because u know what?

Me: You can look at one of two ways: (1) gay marriage is the result of the mockery by men deciding marriage at all or (2) gay marriage is ironically saying, "Um, yeah, I can put two of WHATEVER I want together.. did i not say I would raise these stones to praise me? Did you not think that I really meant it?"

Me: God ironically saying that

Me: Either way... I submit it is hard evidence that the church "sanctioning" marriage rather than really RECOGNIZING "what did god put together?"

Me: think about it... what about the roman centurion praying to the God of the Jews?

Me: Peter had seen a vision of all matter of beasts, most of which would be unkosher for Jews, and he heard a voice say, "Arise, Kill and Eat!"

Me: And Peter told the voice, "Lord, how can I? I will not, I have not ever nor will I ever eat anything UNCLEAN!"

Me: The Lord answered, "What I HAVE CLEANSED, Let NO MAN CALL UNCLEAN."

Me: Does that not sound awfully like, "What God has put together, Let NO MAN PUT ASUNDER"?

Me: Yeah, it's the AUDICITY of the CREATOR to decide WHAT HE CAN DO. Imagine that!

Me: Yes, I said those things were unclean. But, I cleaned them. Can I not do anything?

my_online_friend: exactly

Me: I have been blind.

my_online_friend: we all have.

Me: Yes, but now it's time to open our eyes.

Me: It is not too late, while we are here.

Me: Yes, it is true, in the beginning, he created male and female. THere is no denying this.

my_online_friend: yeap several of my young friends are already dead.

Me: But really, this was not only physically, but spiritually and in every dimension.

Me: That is simply one picture of what it takes to form a union.

Me: Not all Spiritual Unions will be for the purpose of creating physical children through the physical bodies.

Me: We can celebrate the picture of Female-Male (yes in that order, too I think) relationships as the Highest Image of the Ideal.

Me: Yet, what God has cleansed, let no man call unclean.

Me: And how do we know? We _recognize_ what is put together by God.

Me: How do we know? It's pretty frickin' obvious.

Me: When someone finds someone else in a way that is too amazing to have been 'set up' (eHarmony is so ungodly omg i never thought of that)

Me: And when they fit together so well after sucha meeting... neither was looking to meet the other.. they just did, and it was magic

Me: Let NO MAN TAKE APART what GOD PUT TOGETHER

Me: Shame on us for not accetping that, no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

Me: Age difference? Who are we, God?

Me: Gender? Who are we, God?

Me: Why not let God judge? If it is not put together by God, it will fall apart of its own accord

The Mystery of Iniquity

Brothers, everyone should stay in the same condition in which he was called by God. 1 Cor 7:24



In my heart, I know there is a reason I was born into a religious circle that forbade several practices and set some stringent boundaries upon me as a young man -- many of which are not, in my mind, clearly not universally applicable to everyone. And yet... the mistake I have made over and over is to buy into the mistaken notion that the commandment not to judge prevents me from accepting for *me* certain restrictions that make sense for *me.*



Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2



It is true that rules and ordinances are for the spiritually weak:



Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Romans 14:1-3



And yet, the truth is, some of us are weak in faith, and we have been given the gift of the"training wheels" of certain restrictions, that we are not easily swept away by choices we are not yet mature to make. Indeed, the "Christian" Right is hell-bent (literally!) on making this restrictions universal because "leaders" who are weak in faith think that they must surely impose on everyone else the restrictions they need themselves.



How do I know I am one of these that is weak in faith? Because, I have "examined myself, to see whether I am in the faith." How is this examination done? By considering the fruit I have produced, of course, for, "You will know them by their fruits. A good tree cannot bear evil fruit, nor can an evil tree bear good fruit." What is "evil"? Really... it is "mere" iniquity, that is self-will in contrast to Father-Will, which we pray for with our lips in the Lord's prayer.



Many times, we fail to see the "evil" fruit we have borne (causing discord in other people's lives, leaving the lives of the people we touch worse than when they met us!), because we compare ourselves against the "really evil" people, the ones who rape or murder. But the standard is not to compare ourselves to each other at all. For,



We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 2 Cor 10:12



And,



Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls.... Romans 14:4



Instead, we are given the LAW in our hearts! We know in OUR HEARTS, what we are to do, and what we are not to do, what God has given us in this life! To do otherwise is not to break a particular rule that always holds for all, but rather it is "merely" to act against the Will of the Father, and to put our will ahead of Kingdom Will, Father Will, God Will.



For, what does the Lord say to those whom he casts into outer darkness when our works are judged?



Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.



Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?



And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity [self-will] - Matthew 7:21-23

the real terror

Fear is all around me, I feel it clutching at my throat, making my breath shallow why this death and angry violence? Why this callousness and cowardice? Why this hatred and suffering? The sounds of crying and suffering terrify me and I cannot bear in my fragile mind any longer that these terrors are acceptable as enternmainment! I fear the minds that are that far down the abyss and I crawl into a fetal position and wail. I fear that my mind has crawled down there, too, and I wail more! I long for renewal and the new earth. This one is beyond repair! The new wine will make the old bottles burst!

when the breath comes more slowly

the heart is no less stout, and the body feels weak. i feel fluttering and degeneration and i doubt i can continue in this path for much longer. as we listen to our bodies, we can sense the general wellness or illness, and more importantly, the general direction, whether it is rolling downward to dusty depths or rising upward to greater heights. we can numb our senses, but this does nothing for us unless we have given up hope, and when this happens, there is sure to be only a short time to the end of a cycle.

the weight of past decisions and delusions of their power in the here and now, i feel creating a hole in my chest, like a poison that seeps slowly into my blood stream. still, the feeling can direct me to act, but what is there to do? perhaps it is well to be still and accept inevitable correction that comes from the rebound of actions already committed.

Images from a Dream

We are above in the sky. The watchers.

Everything looks okay, the sounds are fine. No sound of distress or disharmony. "Everything sounds okay... why does it seem something is not right?"

I say, "no, I get it! Listen to the sounds of the _____. You hear it?" Amused answer: "No! You are calling the ___ ___?" I answer, "No, no, I am not judging it, I am only saying that the sound indicates ____."

Flying very high onto a rooftop hundreds of feet in the air. There are people exiting.

Things are turned around. I suddenly realize that the "hero" I've thought was fighting the "villian" is the deluded one.

The mentor/teacher comes to me, expecting me to help me with

I tell ____, another messenger, of the news in Latin, first, or some other language with which I am intrinsically inspired. "You know who ___ really is?"

"Lucius?"

"Yes, Lucius."

I sense that Lucius has no clue, yet, and is in fact still highly sympathetic to the pain around him that we see.

"Your friend is visiting again."

"He is not *visiting* us, he's *stalking* us...... Why is he here? I haven't invited him for three weeks."

The old white-haired woman... has smiled her way back to youth. She sits with her rainbow-colored balloons and her rainbow... feet or toenails, smiling, her old face much smoother and her whole frame that of a small girl.

"You know what today is? It's the RAPTURE!"

"That one's coming down...."

THUD!!! He bounced. (No splat).

"That didn't make any sense."

"I know! It sounded like a ____." .... "He had that European... smile right before he hit."

"Oh no, you've got to check all the scouting...."

Beer, young men...

"..Timmy...?"

On Being In Love With ____

I love ___. This is not the same as being IN love WITH ____. Because, to be IN love WITH implies that there is WITHness (togetherness) and that in this WITHness there is a circle of love IN which we both ARE, in which ARE both BEING.

I tell myself this because it satisfies a mental and emotional need for DISTINCTION.

But, to be DISTINCT is to admit SEPARATION, to admit that there is even 'an' "I" and 'a' "other". As long as this distinction and separation serves, then it is well. But I feel the loneliness of separation, and so....

....I seek UNION. But I fear it also, as it means I destroy me in the moment of ONENESS. So, I cling to loneliness in fear.

And yet... "....the fearful and unbelieving... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.​" And why do we not see this for what it is, that it is not a fable, but it is only truth that we know in our souls? This universe is finite, and its end is certain, and our sun will burn the earth in a glorious expansion. And those who have clung to only the material forms will disintegrate, because we will all be tried by fire, and only what is pure remains in this state of pure energy of light being.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust will corrupt", but "lay up for your selves treasure in the HIGHER REALMS." The higher realms, the heavens, are where we really have our BEING. We are not our bodies.

And there is only one I AM, one BEING. We are one in this BEING, if we choose life. We choose life when we are IN LOVE. "Perfect LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR." I need no other, because there is no other, and yet I am not, but in I AM I am. Those who are IN I AM have eternal life. I HATE only when I choose FEAR. IN FEAR, I fall into the abyss of MY MIS-TAKES.

"Those who keep my saying will not see DEATH." Our forms pass, our bodies experience death, but those who KEEP the saying will not see death, because they overcome death, and pass FROM death INTO life. There is PASSING ('death' but not final destruction) for all, but some, to disintegration, some to life without end.

What is this saying? LOVE -I AM-, LOVE -LIFE-FORCE- above all. LOVE 'other' as equally as LOVE 'self'. In ALL, uplift and bring to the HIGHER REALMS.

"You saw me hungry, and you fed me, and naked, and clothed me, a stranger, and you took me in, sick and in prison, and you visited me. Come into the kingdom, into the higher realms, into LIFE without END."

GENERATOR in HIGHEST REALM, above all is your name, bring your rule to us, that your will of wholeness for the material realm be complete and fulfilled as it already is in the highest realm; give us today our daily sustenance, and forgive us our intrusions and mis-takes that cause destruction, in the same manner that we forgive those who intrude on us and cause us pain and suffering. Direct us away from 'shortcuts' that appeal to our meager physical senses but lead us into destruction, and when we start to fall into backward living, correct us.

The Big "L"

"I am such a loser!"

Really? What did you lose?

"Well, it's not a thing I've lost, so much as I just feel like I have not gained what I want yet in relationships."

Oh! Okay. So you're not a 'loser', maybe, just a 'non-gainer', eh?

"Um, sure."

So if I did a magic, rabbit-outta-the-hat trick and poof voila, you had whatever it is your head imagines is this ideal relationship you want, would you be happy forever and ever amen?

"Well... I am sure I would be very happy for a time. Then, I'd probably get bored and want something... else."

Of course. That is the nature of "wanting". It is the mental sickness of the mind that tells you that you do not already have everything you need to be content and full of joy. Have you not already some amazing relationships?

"Yeah. I really have. Ones I would never have thought of on my own, frankly."

Exactly! When will you really, really believe me when I tell you that my vision and my wisdom far surpasses yours?

"Thanks. I think I just need a reminder because I always.. forget?"

Glad to be of service.

In-Between Time

This is definitely a time of transition. All my relationships are in transition. People are moving, I am moving, dynamics are changing very quickly. I don't know what's going on, but something is happening and it's happening rapidly.



aaron grant ben billy jimmie tony anthony-michael brazilian-expatriate cole alex sandy





ballyclare belfast philippines dallas san diego austin brazil san francisco sacramento los angeles ohio?



i don't know where i am

tick tock

.
.
 .
  .
   *splat*

Richard

Sometimes, we forget that God puts people in our lives to uplift us and encourage us, and we take them for granted. Who loves us more, those who receive from us, or those who do not? Those who do not, clearly. Thanks, Richard. :) You have looked after me, and I have not thanked you appropriately. You have loved me purely, and I know you will be blessed for it.

What do I see in you?

What do I see in you? If I absorb the things that people, including me, judge you for, will I be able to see something no one else sees? The secret, hidden hurting heart with an instinct for the path back to more inspired living? Will I think and act with the knowledge that my attentiveness to the beauty in you will make you blossom, and that to focus intensely on your beauty is to, as a mere matter of course, lose focus of "those other things" for which I am apt to judge you?

You are amazing, and breathtaking, and beautiful. I love how you are in the way you speak with spirit and with inflection in your voice, or the way you make clever witty lines and try to cheer people up, or in the way you are always trying to make sure things are orderly and well situated. You have grace and a delicious smile that shows that you are still a fun child with a heart of laughter.

I know there are moments when this amazing creature is buried in a hurt or painful experience, and you become the hurting child, the sobbing, broken one, but these moments of pain bring with them their disapproval from others, your unconscious reaction to this disapproval creates further disapproval, and you feel alone and worse.

The way out, is to see who you are, and then to laugh with full joy when you realize, that YOU are magnificent and that your friend was the one who helped you to see it, and you can trust him because he loves you. He did not need to disapprove continuously of your hurt reactions, because doing so would not uplift you. You already knew the problem with your hurt reactions; everyone else in similar unconscious reaction makes it well known to you with words that hurt you further. You need no further reminder. You need love. You need the vision of You that You Do Not See Yet.

I have been given this gift, many times, by many people, and they all did it on purpose, and that purpose was Love. May I also do the same for others.

I Killed A Kitten

It was an accident. I was not thinking about the tiny kitten being out of the safe bedroom in the box, and in the living room with me, and while I was playing my Wii, I heard an adomonition from my friend to "watch the kitty" just too late, and my foot came down on part of her poor little body, and the poor soul started shaking and vomiting blood. I held her, looking for signs of life, and she started to shake more, and my friend Josh cried. We both kind of stared, and Josh picked her up. I knew it was too late, but I was numb and stunned. I came back to pick her up, with a futile hope that she might have miracously survived, but I knew it was not so.

Guilt. I was more shocked at first, then the guilt set in. I knew I had not intentionally in that moment murdered with active malice the poor kitten, but as the night wore on and I thought more about it, I realized that I had been not careful enough. Not care-full to a sufficient degree. I had not cared enough to think, "I should put her back in the room and make sure all the kittens are in the room with the door closed, as I am about to bounce back and forth playing tennis on the Wii, and this could be dangerous for a small kitten lacking the normal quick reflexes and muscles of a grown adult cat."

I realized also, as I mused more about it, that I had taken the kittens for granted; it had become a common thing, instead of a sacred thing, to have these beautiful little lives in my home, and indeed, I had also taken my beautiful Froggy, the mother, for granted, not giving her sufficient attention and care. Sure, I had been feeding her plenty -- and boy, has she been eating a lot since having these babies -- but I had not pet her and caressed her and loved on her like she wanted.

I realized this: to not care enough is to ensure that I will cause some harm to some being. It does not take cold, calculated, active malice to harm a being, and while such active malice in myself or others rightfully offends my conscience, I realized that to the poor being who is harmed, it matters little whether it was active malice or "mere" carelessness: the harm has a reality component that is equivalent in effect. Certainly in the case of active mailice, there may be additional harm, perhaps of a different character altogether, but the most observable effect varies not a tittle.

It came to my mind also that earlier that night, I had that same kitten -- or else its sister of the same coloring, I had two kittens with similar color and markings -- nipping and clawing at my feet earlier in the evening, and I remember feeling annoyed at the little tike’s "bothering" me while I was busy doing something else. I considered this, and realized that to have a pet is to have care for the pet, and that includes not putting other far less critical things above the the care of living souls. I had disdained and been distemperate about the small kitten "bothering" my comfort, that I failed to remember what is the most important thing of all: life. And not just mylife, but the life of All.

Later, I picked up Froggy, and held a mother who had lost one of her offspring, and I pet her gently, and I kissed her, and I re-membered the notion that a pet is a privilege and a pet is to be honored and loved, in return for bringing the beauty of life into the home.

I spent more time with Froggy than I had in a while. Next time she jumps in front of my computer, I will stop before I get annoyed, and I will consider whether what I am doing really is so critical it must be done this moment. If it is indeed that critical, then I will with calm mind be able to lovingly place Froggy aside, give her a loving pat on the head, and assure her I will soon give her the attention she is asking for, but that I must finish the task at end.

More often than that, I will pause, and I will remember, This activity I am doing, is not that critical, and I can resume this at any time, really; right now, the wonderful life in front of me is bringing me the gift of life, and I would be perverse to reject it.